Yes, I Have Been "Curved"

Disclaimer: (I keep a lot of things private or sugar coated when it comes to this topic and I was pretty hesitant on talking about this but since a lot of young girls are asking me about my life and my "experience" when it comes to "relationships") 

I usually don't talk about my personal life when it comes to guys and whom I'm interested in but, I've been getting questions in my DM's on Instagram about my personal life when it comes to relationships and have I ever gotten to know someone and if I ever been in a relationship. So to answer everyones questions that I've been getting, I'm going to use my favorite person in the worlds face aka Rihanna to help give visuals on certain things when it comes to myself and guys. To start off I've liked guys and I find guys cute and handsome but here is my thing; sometimes I just want to be left alone especially at this age where I'm finding myself when it comes to being young and free. I've always been someone that has envisioned myself being in a relationship but then I think about all the tragic things that could happen in relationships when feelings start to tarnish. All my friends and closest friends have been in relationships throughout middle school, high school and now college; it's interesting to see the types of stuff that they went through when it comes to being with someone. I'm always (ALWAYS) the friend that gives the best advice with certain situations and scenarios but it's funny that I can't use my own advice to good use with myself; ironic. I've talked to a few guys (emphasis on the few) but I've always been the hesitant person that doesn't enjoy what the outcome might be if things don't go as planned. I have my reasons on why I'm so guarded when it comes to talking to guys at this age because; you never know what their true intentions might be and I just don't want to go through that right now. You know, I've had my fair share of being "curved" probably once or twice throughout my life and it hasn't been fun and I just don't care to be bothered at all at this point or even entertain. So when I explain to my friends that I just want to relax on the dating scene and then I explain that I want to wait on who comes my way sometimes my friends say " You can't wait for someone to come to you; you have to put yourself out there" and this my reaction...Literally:

I thought their was somewhat truth to that statement and then guess what? I actually took that advice and went in for the kill and guess what? My time was wasted. I hate when my time is wasted (biggest pet peeve ever) when I get to know someone and then the guy always says "I'm not like other guys I swear"... (I'm only talking about the guys that have said this and don't mean it. I'm not talking about ALL GUYS so relax) and every time a guy says that their is a 50 percent chance that the guy is like the "other guys". I always want to know what peoples true intentions are when they want to talk to me and get to know me when it comes to being on that level and to be honest; I just hate giving people the time of day and then it goes into waste. I know, I know life is all about vibing with different people and seeing who comes and goes in your life and don't get me wrong I'm all about that motto but at this point in time I don't feel like being bothered right now. I probably sound harsh but I'm just being honest on how I feel about this topic when I get put into the mix with it.

Sometimes my friends try to set me up with people that are interested in me and very rarely I'm like "okay fine" or vice versa. So when they do set me up with someone and we start talking and I get to know them... things start getting weird. When I mean by weird is that... well first off I am a very intellectual thinker  and I enjoy deep conversations about life, goals, dreams and also aspirations but sometimes the person they set me up with can't hold conversations which is so lame.  I absolutely hate when sometimes I'm the one that has to constantly keep asking questions and being the jokester.... and I always get to the point where I'm like:

  Then, if the conversation dies and then the person hits me up saying "my bad beautiful, I seen your beautiful face on snapchat and oh I was busy doing something the other day but...wyd" or if a friend of mine constantly tells me that this particular guy is interested in me and they give me their info and I send them a DM simply saying what's up and they don't answer until 3 weeks later and they tell me a bogus excuse that is totally lame my instant reaction is like:

BYE

Look! You guys I'm a tough cookie to crack when it comes to being in "lovey dovey" mode with relationships and I just don't have the time and day to deal with peoples shenanigans. OF COURSE maybe soon some guy will come my way and sweep me off my feet but until then I'm going to live my life and continue giving advice to all my friends and family that I love so dearly and focus on me and my future goals and to also HAVE FUN. Until then if someone wants to come into my life and actually get to know me for me; come right a long my way but, if your trying to come into my life to play games and have here and there conversations then:

I hope I answered everyones nonstop questions. So now you finally know my dilemma and some of the shenanigans that I've been involved in. Life goes on guys; life goes on. I hope some of you guys can relate or vice versa! These are my thoughts and things that have happened to me so relax. I laugh about it all the time so laugh with me! So to answer everyones question; have I been in a serious relationship: No, I have my whole life to figure that one out. Time will tell. 

xoxoxox

P.s. If someone DM's thinking I'm "throwing shade" or whatever..... I'm not lol. Just take notes and move along.